Woah, hello Blogspot! I kinda forgot this thing existed... D: oops
Anyway, God's been doing some pretty cool things in life lately.

Recently, I've gone through a time of just struggling with self worth. Not in a "oh, PLEASE pitty me" sort of way... but more like "what am I here for...?" sort of way.
So, I was driving down the road and David Platt popped into my head. A few months ago, I heard a sermon by him in which he spoke of his daughter, Mara Ruth, from China. He said something along the lines of "She shouldn't be here". Because she's a baby girl from China, she should have been aborted. Instead, her birth mother dropped her off at the orphanage. Platt continued on to praise God for his little girl. "God has big plans for her" he said...
Then God said to me "Amanda, I have big plans for you. YOU shouldn't be here either... remember?" That took me back to mom telling me how her and my dad had so many problems having children. They had to go through tests, procedures, and all kinds of things to have my brother, Terry. And, as you can imagine, it wasn't cheap. After my parents had my brother, the doctors told them it would be impossible to have more children without going through these same steps. My parents, young and broke, decided that Terry would be enough. They would be thankful for the blessing of having one child and that it was just okay...

 Regardless to say, they were REAL surprised about 7 months later when mom was pregnant again. Without any help from doctors.
So here I am! I "shouldn't" be, but I am! Then God said to me "What's different from Mara Ruth being here and alive... and you being here and alive". Now, I know that isn't exactly ground breaking but at the same time, isn't it? The fact that God made me... and you. And God has an epic plan for each one of our lives? A plan that will further His Kingdom.

So, at the moment when I was reminded that God has a plan for me, I was also reminded that my self worth isn't valued by worldly things. No, it's valued by God. So, when I think of my self worth, I don't think about successes of this life. Instead, I concentrate on how God views me: as his beloved. As someone worth dying for.
I want my life to be something that God uses. Everyday. In any way He sees fit. Whether it's good and happy. Or ugly and sad. God, use it. I just want to serve Him!

And, by the way, I think it's pretty cool that a couple months ago, when I heard that sermon by Platt, the bit about his daughter was cool. But God knew I would need to hear it on down the road so He stuck those words in my head to be used later. Isn't He a cool God? He knows what I need long before I need it... He's just awesome.

ANYWAY, enough of my rambling for now. I love you guys. I'm praying for you guys, always. I hope your summer is going by slowllllyyyyy and fantastically.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

What's Your Excuse

This is something that has been convicting me and everybody I’ve mentioned it to so here goes:

One Sunday after church, I was talking to my uncle and we were having our own little church in his backyard when he said something that really took me back “You can’t use your blessings as an excuse.”

Woah.

Most of the time when I make excuses for skipping church, not having time to read my Bible, or whatever it may be, I blame it on my blessings. “I’m too tired to go to church because I stayed up all night hanging out with my friends” or “I don’t have time to spend time in the Word because I have to study for this big test coming up”. Friends and education are huge blessings which many wish to receive. So if we’re using these blessings as an excuse to separate from God… well isn’t that just crappy? And those blessings can be taken away from us just as quickly as they were given to us.

Ouch.

Do You Remember Who I Am?

Lately I’ve just been humbled over and over again. When you think about the love and mercy of Jesus Christ, how can you not be humbled though?

When I bow my head to pray I can say “Father”, “Daddy”, or “Abba” to the Lord of the universe and everything that inhabits it. This same Lord made me with His very hands. He knows me inside and out and still He loves me all the same. He cares enough about me to know my pain and my hurt. He listens to me when I whine about stuff that He already has worked out for my good and His glory.

When I bow my head to pray I say “I love you, too.” I just don’t think it’s fair to say “I love you” to my God who loved me first. My God who loved me when I didn’t know who He was. My God who loved me when I knew who He was… but I simply didn’t care.

When I find myself in situations where I am able to share the Word, I am humbled that He would allow me do that. And not only does He allow me to do that but He places me in situations just for that purpose. ME. I am so unworthy and ever-failing. I am the chewed up, spit out gum on the bottom of His sandals and He lets me share His precious Word. That’s what really blows my mind and I begin to wonder “Why?”… All the things that I have done against Him. All the times that I have failed. God, don’t you remember that!? … Then He says, “Nope, I sure don’t.”

Praise Him.

Paul : My Homeboy

So, don’t tell Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, or any of the other guys… but Paul is my favorite.

“Why Amanda? Please share?”  

Why, I’d love to! (:

We all know the story of Paul but let me recap, just in case if you’ve forgotten:

Paul, used to be Saul. He was one of the biggest persecutors of Christians back in the day. Most popular for being the guy that held the other dude’s coats while they stoned Steven to death. Well, one day God got tired of it and knocked him off his high horse (literally) and he was later converted as a Christian. (That’s in Acts 7-9ish, my version was a TAD condensed ;))

Paul is a shining example of how God can turn somebody’s life around. Maybe I like Paul so much because I feel connected to him for having a messed up past… but don’t we all have THOSE things in our past? We’ve all done thing that we regret and I don’t know about y’all, but sometimes I still feel guilty and ashamed of it all. And that’s where I desire to be more like Paul: He was like “Yeah, I used to be that guy but look how God has changed me!” I wish I had that kind of courage. How silly is it to feel guilt and shame about things when Jesus took care of all that baggage- he did away with it. So, here I am feeling guilty when His policy is pretty much forgive and forget. I think we can all learn a lesson from Paul to take our past trials and turn them into something that glorifies God.

And maybe you’re still in the midst of your shameful actions. If you are, check this out: “….being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) People in this world may give up on you but, in the end, it’s okay because the One that truly matters isn’t going to give up on you. He knows every fiber of your being and he knows what a wonderful person you are and he’s just waiting to be able to use you to affect the lives of others.

So submit yourself to Him, friends! It’s worth it, I promise.

And like Paul always said: Be joyful, be thankful

I Could Choose Not To Move But I Refused

As long as I can remember I’ve always had social anxiety. Is that a real thing? Because I totally just made that term up. Anyway, anytime I had to go anywhere new I would just get really anxious, and when I say “really anxious” I would literally worry myself sick. I had to have a plan down: what time to wake up, what time to start getting ready, what I was supposed to wear, the exact moment I needed to leave my house, the exact moment I needed to arrive, exactly what to do and where to go once I got there, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. Most of the time if I didn’t know all these details (which was often), I just wouldn’t go and do whatever I was supposed to.

So, a couple month’s ago I had a realization that life isn’t comfortable. New things aren’t comfortable. Sharing the gospel and getting out of your bubble isn’t comfortable. How was I going to fulfill God’s plan for me while living like that? I couldn’t; it was impossible. So I said “Hey God, I’m going to do better. When You tell me to do something, I’m going to try my absolute hardest to do it.” So, naturally, God said “Aight, let’s see” (yes, sometimes God talks to me in a gangster voice, don’t judge).

God was calling me to Alta Woods Baptist Church. I’d never even heard of this place before but I was looking for a new church. So I started talking to Chris and DT about visiting and, of course, they welcomed the idea with open arms. I had talked to them mid-week and the following Sunday they had a Fifth Sunday thing and invited me. I invited friends and everybody already had plans: great, I would have to go by myself. It was so hard for me to go. I literally had anxiety about it for days. And on the way up there, I almost turned around multiple times BUTTT I went. And low and behold, I SURVIVED! Not only did I survive, but now I go there regularly. I've had the honor of helping teach the kids. I stand at the door and have an “MC Smile” waiting for you when you get there. Regardless to say, I love it.

Tonight as I was making out my weekly prayer request list, I felt called to ask for prayer requests on Facebook and Twitter. I posted it and waited a while and no responses :( I really wanted to delete it, I don’t know why, but I did. As I went to delete it, God was like “wait for it…” so I waited for it. And boy am I glad I did. I had an old friend text me, whom I hadn’t talked to in quite a while, and ask me for prayers. Then he went on to tell me how broken he feels and, I’m not really sure, but I think God definitely used me to help him.


The point of all that?
No matter what God is calling you to do, just do it. Whether it’s something as significant as involving you in a church or posting a status, do it. God has a plan, never underestimate it.

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.

Being Abandoned

So, who are you scared to be abandoned by?

A friend?

A boyfriend or girlfriend? Scared of being that ole cat lady (erm, or man) forever?

A parent?

God?

WAIT. HOLD THE PHONE. Did she just say God?

…

Yeah, I did. Isn’t that the worst kind of abandonment? I think as Christians we don’t want to admit that sometimes we just feel abandoned by God. Especially when you think of Sunday School and the warm fuzzy words that “God is always with you and He loves you no matter what”, I mean yeah, it’s true but we don’t always feel that way. Sometimes I think “Well, maybe it’s just me because I really don’t ever hear anybody else speak of it,” but who likes to talk about things like that, right? You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt abandoned by God and it’s not just me that shares this feeling with you. As Jesus Christ himself died on the cross he asked “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”. Jesus is fully human, fully God and if even He felt abandoned by God, I think God understands when we feel this way. God IS always there, sometimes it’s just hard to hear Him. It’s hard to hear a single voice in a room full of people. Take a long drive and turn the music off; go to a quiet room and clear your mind; do whatever it takes to step back, chill and just listen to God- He’s always there, even when you feel abandoned.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6

No more Tumblr!

I am officially replacing my Tumblr with this. I think I'm going to like this better.

So anyway, I'm probably going to add some of my Tumblr posts on here.

As my title states, this entire blog is just a little piece of my mind. Hope you enjoy :)